Revision today: Alexander rolled from back to tummy without any help this week: the 26th of  June. And he ate a full bowl of rice cereal..2 tbl spoon of formula and 1 tbl spoon of rice cereal. He is ready for banana’s and real food next week:) He also had a fun time with grandpa yesterday.


Here are some of my favorite pictures of Alexander I have taken the last couple of months. We are in the the last week of Alexander’s 5th month. That means, officially Alexander will be hitting his 6th month July 1st. Alexander has been very busy!


- loves to stomp his feet( the irish jig) and stares at himself in the mirror and giggles.

Bath time is still his favorite time ( there is so much splashing that half the bath water is on me and the counter)

-He loves his walks in the stroller. We try to get out everyday…between the laundry, naps, and eating.

Driving- he falls asleep in the car in minutes without fail.

-Alexander smiles and interacts with us and everyone( loves to giggle and be tickled, loves to hold your face when looking at you, rubs your arm when holding.) People like to stop and say hello to Alexander. The elderly seem the most delighted. And Alexander is very comfortable being held by his grandparents.

-When I hold him he always wants to look in the direction I am going, or he will clasp is arms around my neck and move so he is looking at me in the eyes

-he just started eating rice cereal. I was horrible in the beginning, Nana showed me some tricks. Thetan was actually very successful and knew what to do..And as a team, Alexander finishes his bowl of rice cereal, with only half of it on his shirt. Alexander loves to eat and has no aversion to rice cereal-

from a mixture of 3 tbls of formula and 1 tbls of rice cereal… he gets about 1/8th a cup( see revisions on top of page..he ate a whole bowl…thicker  consistency now)

-rolling!!!  he rolls over and then the poor guy gets his arm stuck. We have to move his arm and then he is happy on his tummy. He loves to turn, he turns whenever we put him down. It is pretty funny!( see revisions..can roll by himself now)

-He is sitting up-but not by himself and leaning over.

- he like to vocalize and scream. This is a fun one. But when he is very comfortable and feeling happy, he will mumble, giggle, spit, and practice chatting it up.

- he says mumum

- poo- he seems to go in the morning, pee..all day long!!!

-He had his first mother’s day and father’s day. He made his parents very happy

-He has grown out of all his clothes  (we have a new wardrobe now)

-He has started taking naps in the crib, but still ends up crying so we bring him into bed.

-Still breastfeeds every hour while he is awake

-His favorite toy is the apple his Great Aunt Carol gave him, but he loves to put things( everything) in his mouth. When he gets a toy..he gets enthralled, so when we take it away he actually cries and screams- not sure what to do about that…Are we spoiling him by giving it back when he cries and screams?

- he still goes to bed around 12..but he takes a few naps after his bath and lotion massage at 8:30pm. There have been a few magical moments where he slept 5 hours straight and went to bed at 10:30..we were in shock…wish it happened more

-He holds his bottle– and while eating..he likes to take the spoon( last night we bought a sippy cup…soon this weekend we will introduce water)

-he is a good crier. When he wakes up and when he wants something

-When I put my hands out he grabs them and likes to sit up.
-play with toys
-very good with hand eye coordination-
-chews on his feet
-sits up ..getting better sitting by himself


-my favorite is he will giggle out loud when I am being silly with him.


Alex always has his feet in his mouth

Alexander loves his Nana. They spend every week having fun.


Alex’s new Activities

-Alex is VAIN. He looked in the mirror….and smiled for the first time in Marks arms..on the 20th of April.
Alex began giggling and laughing at himself in the mirror during bath time on the 21st of April. And now..May 3rd, we are spending many hours playing in front of the mirror. Alex loves to look at himself while he takes his bath, he loves to laugh with mommy in the mirror any time of the day.

he is learning to laugh, but right now it is mostly a screaming giggle, daddy calls it a squiggly.
Giggling: all the time now
He giggled during patty cake time..Nana taught him patty cake. He is not exactly clapping on his own, but when I do it with him. he giggles

Foot Action:
I can not wait until the day he puts his foot in his mouth, but we are not there yet. I have caught him staring down at his toes and noticing we are on the right path, but not there yet. He did reach for his foot..but only once so far.

He likes to sit up. He even cries sometimes until we play the game where he grabs my fingers and he sits up. I have to admit, every time he sits up practically on his own, I am so proud of my son:)

he sleeps during the day in his rock and play Mark gave him, and still sleeps with us in the bed.
Just recently the beginning of hie 5th month he is just fine being put in his rock and play as he rubbs his eyes and after a few minutes he falls asleep.

-in his bassinet he has developed lots of new noises ..he practices talking. This boys loves to talk…a lot!
he says mama…when he is hungry or frustrated. Nobody believes us that he is saying mama..but he is!!!


-he smiles and giggles in his sleep and all the time during the day.

while listening to his music book with colorful lights, he has begun to get really good at tummy time( up to 10 minutes straight without bobbing his head). Twinkle Twinkle LITTLE STAR is his favorite song

Alexander and I would be up all night in the beginning first couple of months with collick. I was desperate so I would sing him the rainbow song. Now at 4 months when he gets upset, the rainbow song calms him.

I am not sure if we can tell his personality, but he is very social. He enjoys being out and observing people and things surrounding him. He likes to talk.

he loves to snuggle with the teddy bear blanket his Nana got him, snuggles with his stuffed elephant his Great Grandmother got him, and giggles and stares at the car seat yellow bumble bee his Grandma got him

Doctors Appointment: 5/1/2012 12lbs teething upper left tooth.

GROWING: none of his clothes are fitting. clothes fit him like Huckle Berry Fin and the Incredible Hulk

he loves bath time…I stand him up in front of the mirror and he stomps his feet and laughs.

He still nurses every hour while awake, but sometimes he just wants to be connected with me.

he absolutely likes to be held. And tonight May 3rd, he began hugging me while I hold him. My heart melted tonight. Before I would hold him and his head would be all wobbly. Then I would hold him month 2, and 3 and he would put his head on my shoulder and wrap maybe one arm around. Now at month 4, Alexander will put his face on my cheek and kiss and suck my cheek and move his face on my face to look at what I am looking at. And now, tonight, he wrapped both his arms around my neck and head in my neck and hugged me. Oh my was so wonderful. I love him so much!


Welcome ICLW Readers,
I have been part of this IF community since I found out my husband and I could not conceive naturally. But through the support of my family and friends, we persisted, found the help of UCSF, and through IVF we made our beautiful son Alexander. Some of you may remember me from my blog TRYING TO CONCEIVE. This blog Trying to Conceive helped me everyday and in every scary experience that I went through. Thanks to Melissa at the Stirrup Queens Blog for bring us all together. Still a year later I suggest her blog to other friends who suffer Infertility and go to her book Navigating The land of IF for help after pregnancy. I think even though I survived being lost on the island of Infertility, being pregnant and holding my baby has given me a different experience than other mothers who did not have to go through so much just to conceive. Please go to my blog if you have any questions…or put it in the search button, I literally wrote in my blog almost everyday through my process. Some of the biggest events that I remember writing about and searching for help while I was going through IVF was:

-make a list- making a list has always aloud me to see what is really going on..good or bad. Sometimes we get stuck in our head hearing the same negative line. so when you see the reality on paper, then it might give you a better perspective

-my first doctors appoint. Dr ICE. So many doctors do not have bed side manner. Some are amazing and show such compassion, yet some are cold, rude, and treat you like a piece of meat.

-being sad. Yes infertility can be really hard and emotionally exhausting. The sad moments came when mothers day came around, birthdays, going on facebook. This is a hard one for me now that I have Alexander. There is guilt sometimes when I am posting all my joys with Alexander. I remember the pain and jealousy I felt when signing onto facebook. At times I would just hide certain profiles so I would be able to lessen the hurt. And the announcements that others were pregnant would have be crying in the bathroom for an hour. Although I was happy for family and friends, I would be a mess for an hour.

-My first CD1( Cycle day one). I was so excited. My mom helped me get ready for such an event. We got beads and every night Thetan and I strung a bead for every day I received a shot. CD1 was the day I celebrated Aunt flow. This was a big deal because I had cried and became an emotional basket case for over a year every time she came because I was trying to conceive. So this was a new experience for me. At this time, I had been through the worst of it.

-then came the medicine

-April 1st was my first injection class. Strangely I was excited and happy. Yes. The denial of injecting myself 100 times was strong. But all I could think of was holding Alexander. And to this day, all the pain is gone when I look in my son’s eyes. And sometimes when I am singing or holding him, tears of joy just flow down my face.

- then came the side effects. April 4th my first injection! Menopause symptoms. yes….I would be shopping with friends and I would have the urge to rip my clothes off because I was steaming from the inside out. And yes…my poor husband would confess that I was a crazy person at this stage. the Lupron was very intense and made me act one minute happy and the next very very very angry. I think part of it was the hormones and the the rest was my own anger and frustration that I had to go through this process of IVF.

- reading about my injection of Lupron and Menupor was interesting. I remember feeling so scared. Crying in the beginning of each stage and especially those first few nights injecting hormones into my body. But in all reality those first injections of lupron and menupor was not was more my nerves getting the best of me. Thetan would get the medicine ready for me every night and then hand me the needle with medicine. It was not fun those first few nights where I had to inject myself twice. Painful..but it went really fast.
and one night three shots:
the three shots were gonal f pen= so easy I thought..what happened? no burning?
monepur mix= little burn
Luperon= no sting

-cool website while going through IVF..of blood work:
this website will help you feel like you know what is going on when your doctors call you with blood work and you will actually know what they are talking about.

- while I took the medicine the worst part of it all was going in every couple days and then every day where they check your ovaries and take your blood. Well..I fainted a couple times. That was not fun. That was when my body was not happy with me and I was at my emotional end. I was crying grumpy and really rethinking what I got myself into.

-HCG trigger shot point. this point I had grown my ovaries and I felt very full and I was walking around like a duck. Not fun..but Thetan found this strangely funny. Sleeping became hard too. In fact now that I am writing this I remember the doctors saying I had to be careful sleeping and not to toss and turn too much…HCG was a little painful…I really felt the burning with this one. But I remember using a purple heart bead that my friend Allison bought for me for this important day. It was the day before the doctors retrieved my eggs to make embryos.

- Retrieval done: results: I had 22 follicles, and 7 eggs came out. Here comes the fear that no embryos will come out of all this! but it worked: Out of my seven eggs, 6 were mature. Out of six mature eggs, they fertilized 4

-on to transfer day: and now onto progesterone shots. These are just inch and a half shots.( sarcasm) I had to ice my backside for 15 minutes to numb and then inject,( very scary long needle) then warm it with a heating pad. MY not numb..just take the injection. Oh yeah..after have to walk to make sure the progesterone which is mixed with oil gets all moved around and dissolved in your body. Or you will get a lump and you will have to massage deeply to dissolve it all. This happened to me a few times and after the first 5 times, I just stopped using ice..this remedied the problem.

oh tip after retrieval: drink a ton of water before and after retrieval. If you can drink gatorade, do it. you do not want OHSS. Also..after retrieval before transfer take advantage of using a heating pad where they removed your eggs. I think during those few days, I just laid down drinking water with a heating pad. It really helped.

-Transfer day yes We decided to transfer two. It was scary thinking we could have twins or neither one would work.

-The dreaded two week wait. Out of all the shots, and emotional turmoil of months trying to conceive and failing, the two week wait was the most emotional time of the whole infertile experience. Thank god for the community I found. So helpful and supportive. I got lots of baby dust, and others wishing me luck. I would go to the blogging community every day and I would get solice in others stories and success.

- well.. the rest is history. It was all worth it..if I could give any advice please email me at
I would love to help anyone going through this process. You can not do it alone and in many ways, our sisterhood must stay together. Friends, family, and others going through IVF are crucial in order to survive such hard times like Infertility. I am sending my love and lots baby dust to you who are trying to conceive.


Alexander has been keeping us busy!!! I am so proud to say, Alexander is giggling and smiling all the time. Daddy and Alexander have been bonding every night. After a long day, daddy just holds him and Alexander falls right to sleep. Then after a couple hours, they play on the mat and do tummy time.

-he is so aware
-during tummy time- he yelps and coos, laughs and kicks his legs and arms.
- on his stomach he can lift his head very well. He takes breaks every so often to suck his hand
-nursing: he still feeds during the day if he is awake every hour. he takes naps for one to two hours in his cradle and Rock Mark got him
..and at night he sleeps from around 10-12. nurses and then sleeps from 12- 5 or 5:30.
-he is getting better at grabbing and opens his hands more

My favorite things that Alexander does Now:
- he will giggle out loud
- while nursing..he will stop and wait for me to look at him and then look at me and give me the biggest grin
-evening play is so fun. Alexander loves to get a feeding and then stand up and giggle with mommy.
- if you say some words, he will sometimes repeat. Some words: hi. oh, ah, agoo
-last week he was amazed at his hands..this week, he holds his hands together
-after his 9:30 bath and then lotion massage, we play a game where he holds my thumbs and he mostly lifts himself up in a sitting position! it is awesome. and then he looks at his feet:)
-I love to just snuggle with him
-he likes to look at himself in the mirror during bath time

work for mom:
I have been trying to work from home these last two weeks.
first week..4 days I got in 2 hours a day
this week..has not been good. Alexander seems to b hungry all the time and 10 min naps. I have to say..I am frustrated. I have to get him use to napping in his his crib.


Alexander has been making major changes these last couple days. The first few months he would not let me put him down. I would be up all night with a cranky baby, sometimes until 5am in the morning. I had no idea what was wrong in the beginning. My Ped said it is normal to have pm colic. So there Thetan and I were, with the dreaded C word. So, we bought Gripe water. I had never heard of Gripe water before, but I  found it did help..temporarily. After a feeding at 1am, Alexander would have horrible gas and if we laid him down his acid reflux would flair up. So, I would be holding him and he then would get the hiccups. It was a real mess. As soon as I would give him the gripe water, poof! He would relax and he would just slowly go to sleep. Of course we need to swaddle him because his arms and legs are uncontrollable right now. Now it is just around the corner from 3 months and I think we are discovering new possibilities:


A few weeks ago, I was visiting my Aunt Lisa and Uncle Arthur. My Aunt Lisa gave me some advice regarding mothering. She said, with each phase her baby challenged her with, as soon as she had just had enough, it would stop.  Then the next challenge would happen. And again, as soon as she just had enough and was at her breaking point, it would cease and she would be relieved. Well..this has happened with my Alexander. Just when I was at my breaking point of staying up until 5 in the morning and crying and colic, it has ended. I am not sure if this is just the nature of babyhood and motherhood, or that I bought a book that  suggested from a friend on Facebook that has been helpful. But I will take it either way.


My new pattern with Alexander is taken from the book no-cry solution. Basically it is common sense stuff, that I just did not think about. We started a nightly routine.  Every night at 9:30, Alexander gets a bath and then a lotion massage. After that he is swaddled and fed. Shortly after that, since I started this, he goes to bed within the hour. Sometimes with a fight, but he never goes to bed passed 12:30. I think I need to start the ritual earlier, but without fail he wants to be fed at around 12:30. We will see, it really is a trial and error situation. Also, Alexander  since he was born would not go to bed except in our arms. Well, with persistence and patience, Alexander has begun to slowly take a few naps with his own soothing devices( sucking his hand and thumb) in his swing. He cries just a little, but it is just tired cries. Within 5 minutes of whimpering a little and me by his side, he falls asleep. Slowly, the goal to  getting him to go to sleep on his own, will be in the near future. I will start three logs tomorrow. One for his naps, one for a few hours before bedtime, and then one  final one for his night awakenings. With these three logs, I will find out what is working and what is not.


As for milestones:

-yesterday he opened both hands and grabbed his soft giraffe rattle. This was big,because since yesterday, his two hands were strongly clenched in balls.

-he smiles and giggles. I can not get over how adorable it is to see my baby showing me his little personality. So far, he is showing to be as goofy as his his parents.

-we went for a walk yesterday and went to the post office, as well as went to the store and went for ta drive. Alexander and I are starting to get out! And he is so well behaved. I actually think he likes to get out of the house. He seems well rested and happier when we go out.

-at the beginning our my stay at home with Alex I would be home for  hours by myself. i found myself talking to myself. Now just shy of three months, I am talking to Alexander..and he is responding with coos and laughter. i have a little buddy to play and talk to. Having Alexander has been such a joy..




Alexander has been keeping Thetan and myself very busy! I never new a baby was this much work. It is the most rewarding work I have ever done, but is work. But within those moments of exhaustion and frustration, Alexander will giggle or give me a smile that just melts my heart. Let’s see what is this little guy doing?

1) he has found his hand..too cute..he just get real distracted when he noticed his hand and he just gets all big eye and inquisitive. He keeps on hitting himself with his hand though..hopefully this phase will change soon and his hand eye coordination will improve.

2) his clothes from newborn do not fit him anymore. I remember since he was a preemi..nothing fit him when he was born. All the clothes would fall off him, hats did not fit, the legs were always too big for him. Now…he needs all new clothes. He even fits in 3 month old shirts and pajamas.

3) he has started tummy time. Just tonight he lasted a few minutes and was doing so well.

4) he giggles and smiles all the time: he is very connected

5) he likes bath time…Thetan and I give him a bath togehter. Alexander sleeps really well after a warm bath

6) He puts Thetan( daddy) asleep everytime he holds him. And I must say Thetan is very good with Alexander. Alexander always calms down when he is held by his dad. Also, Thetan does a better job at swaddling then me.



1) sleep! The last two nights have been the worst. He got his 2 month vaccine and he has been tired and grumpy. Both nights he did not sleep until 4am. It has been real hard.  but even before the vaccine, he does not go to bed till ate. Basically..he will sleep in our arms starting at 9pm..but he will not let us put him down so we can lay down and sleep until 3am. And even with that, he will not sleep for more than 20 minutes in his bassinet, so I have to hold him in bed to get him to sleep for 4 to 5 hours. Through out the day, he normally does not let us put him down for more than 20 minutes. Sometimes not at all.


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